OF SECRETS AND SECURITY

One of the arts lost in human existential reality is the ability to be silent. Man finds it difficult to be silent. He always want to talk or speak. 
Psychologically, it is proven that if a man is locked in confinement for months, sever from human or social interaction, such a person could run mad eventually.
Why is this? It's because we are social beings. We can't do without relationships or engagements with fellow Human beings.

Now, in relationship or friendship, there is what we call nakedness. It's opening oneself (weaknesses or strengths) to one's partner or friend.
No one wants to divulge his inner secrets with an enemy or someone that poses as a threat to one. Humans generally have dark secrets lurking in their hearts. Perhaps, some mistakes that they don't want anyone to know about.
We all have that one thing we have not shared with anyone.

However, if a friend or someone can confide in you to share his/her secrets. What is expected of you is security. Also, if someone shares something with you, it's not your call to start sharing it with others.
For example, I once shared my plans with someone I respected as a Mentor, the next thing I found out was people asking me about the plans I told this person. And I didn't inform them save this person I regarded as a Mentor. It didn't take long to find out who had divulged the plans. 
Yes, by that action, I was hurt and disappointed. 

There was a time one of my friends accused me of not telling Him about the plans of another friend, I simply told Him that it wasn't my call.
He didn't tell me to share it with others. So I told him that His beef/grievance isn't or shouldn't be with me. 

It's the same cancer that has eaten into the fibers of our social media lives. Someone took a pre-wedding picture and sends to you. He hasn't uploaded it yet.
And you zoomed off like a tornado to start sharing with others or on your status. 
Folks go for another's wedding and right in the middle of the wedding, they are already posting pictures and videos of the couples, something they (the couples) haven't shared or put on their social space. 
It's not your call. Let them put it on their space first before you start yours.

Some announcements aren't yours to make. Just because your 'A' friend tells you something doesn't mean He wants you to tell 'C'. Although, the three of you are friends. Let him divulge to 'C' himself. If 'C' finds out later and challenges you, tell him it wasn't your call.

There are some out there it's every secret someone has told them that they have shared with someone else. For Ministers of the gospel, it's so subtle that they use it as examples to back up a sermon. Though, they don't mention names. However, in some churches, people can put two plus two together and find out who He was talking about.

As I do say to my friend God-Man Daniel, there are some things I've heard that will die with me. In fact, some things are already dead in me. Coz I don't even remember folks told me such things. We must be so disciplined and cautious in the things we say in our interactions with people.

Now, the most deadliest part of this is when friends become foes. And they start spilling out each other's secrets. So puerile, so childish. Celebrities engage in this so much. They begin to share how they helped the other during their challenges or tough times.

Ministers aren't left out. Especially, those ones that feel betrayed when folks leave their church. They start to recount the good deeds they had done to those that left. 
As if it wasn't their duty to look after the flock.
At the end, they paint such people as ingrates. They label them ungrateful.
Whereas these people contributed greatly to the growth of the assembly while they were there.

I went to an assembly and I saw the Leader divulging things a fellow had told him personally just because the fellow left the church. I had to leave coz I couldn't believe what my ears were hearing. 
I kept on ruminating. 
Why the fuss? It's totally uncalled for. 
And I believe it was to create fear in the heart of others that might try to leave one day. 
I'll end this with a short story.. It's a funny one sent to me by my Mum. 
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After having a private dinner, three pastors agreed to sincerely tell each other their problems which must be kept a secret between the three of them and each of them should pray for themselves.

The first pastor said; my problem is money l do steal even from the church offering. Please pray for me. The second pastor; mine is women. Whenever l see any woman my desire will be to go to bed with her, in fact l have slept with most of the church (female) members.

Turning to the third pastor to hear his problem He started crying (it took his friends some efforts to calm him). 
When they asked him to continue, he was still crying, he said my problem is gossiping. He told them that when they leave the place everybody will hear all what the two of them have just told me. 
And begged them to pray for Him.
The two pastors fainted.
😂😂😂😂😂.

Moral lesson: Look up to God. Choose to do what is right and mind who you share your problem with.

(To be continued) 

©The_Alchemist (aka D_Ark)